I have always had a belief that God was real since I was 8 years old, and at 69 years , as I look back on my life I’m reminded of God leading me to where I am now - where He has lovingly given me the freedom to make my own choices throughout my life.
Growing up in a family of 11 children, I was the 9th, however quite lonely at times being between 2 older sisters & 2 younger brothers I spent lots of times on my own (reading or dreaming) . My parents had 5 children before WW2 & 5 after the war with one son passing away during the war years. They were prone to discipline us ‘in love’ - my father being the disciplinarian & my mother usually saying “your dad will deal with it” when he gets home from work - I only ever saw my father angry twice, both my parents were loving in nature.
Growing up in Scotland we were raised Presbyterian, I have fond memories of hearing stories of Jesus in Sunday school. This was where I began to question some of these stories & at 8 years old remember debating with my Sunday school teacher over what happens when I die. I really never got a clear understanding until much later.
The years that followed were caught up in school, study, then getting a job at 15. I still read a lot but, I had begun reading religious materials when I was about 14, the bible was however one book I was perplexed with & found I needed some guidance.
Therefore my journey into studying with different denominations began. I didn’t have the understanding of having a ‘personal relationship’ with God either but I had begun to pray & ask Him to help me to understand.
At the age of 17, I immigrated to Australia, putting my biblical studies on the back burner temporarily. I became busy learning to get to know this new land, getting my license & of course falling in love. I had my 19th birthday while in Melbourne Alfred hospital, having been involved in a severe car accident. I had so much time to think, as it was all I could do, unable to move while in ‘traction’ for 3 months. In this time ....... 3 weeks after the accident I had a ‘pulmonary embolism’ and, what some would say as a ‘near death’ experience - the angelic vision & voice I heard from the end of my bed in hospital telling me my time was ...not yet ! This had me thinking of God again.
From then on all I knew then was specialists telling me I had a long road to recovery, slim possibility of ever having children, learning to walk again while in a rehabilitation hospital for a further 4 months. (& then taking 5 years to achieve without the use of support) in my heart I knew that there was a greater power I could tap into.
The next 3 years following my 7 & 1/2 months in hospital, I had married but had many hurdles to overcome physically. My crossroad/turning point was 4 years after my accident & after having had 4 miscarriages then my son Michael surviving only 8days - I was almost 23 & I was certainly in the lowest point of my life!
God found me there in my grief.
2 weeks after my son passed away, God gave me my first glimpse of HIMSELF.
My niece had got in touch with me, asking if I could drive her to the Geelong West town hall. A group of people were showing a 2hr feature film on the life of Martin Luther & the reformation on that Sunday afternoon, & her mum didn’t want to go. She was to do an essay at school on the same subject by reading a 5inch thick book, which would take too long to read - she said the film would be quicker!! I had never heard of this person Martin Luther, (thinking he was a speaker who was black) and when we tried to leave unobtrusively at the end - I was asked by a lovely girl on the door if I enjoyed the film? I said yes.... hesitated, but then told her I was aware she was part of a church group which, at that moment I wasn’t too concerned with, but I needed to ask her a question - “what does your church believe what happens when you die?”
I remembered being that 8 yr. old in Sunday school, remembering the story of heaven that I was told of & still needing to know from another person’s view so that maybe God could give me peace in my heart over the loss of my babies. This lovely girl seemed very nervous but very sweetly told me that we ‘sleep’ till Jesus comes to take us home to heaven. An example she gave was, “when you go to bed, you set the alarm for morning..... But do you know the exact time you fall asleep? You then sleep maybe 7-8 hrs. & then the alarm wakes you and you feel like you just went to sleep .... in a blink of an eye? - we believe death is like this, from the bible it says Jesus wakes you from your sleep” . She gave me a bible text to read John 3:16 on a flyer.
I was so stunned I went home with these words going through my head I needed to know more! I got my bible out & looked up the text.
This was the night I met Jesus..... God knew my loss & He took me to meet HIS SON at the cross & to tell me HE understood & at that very cross I understood for the first time how much God loved ME, when His son died for me I understood HIS loss for the first time. I understood then how much He was prepared to sacrifice for me.
I will be eternally grateful that He showed me His love through the cross.
